Three years ago, I took an Emotional Intelligence Test (EQ In Action Profile). I was so impressed by what I learned; I went through the training to become an EQ Profile consultant. Since then, I have given many tests and debrief sessions. At the same time, I have been very intentionally developing my own emotional intelligence. I felt I was making good progress by the results showing in my life. I became a stronger leader and had more balance and fun in life.

Yesterday, I retook the test and the data supported my observation of my growth. I am pleased by the result. There are some areas I can use more balance. I was not aware of it. I will keep an eye on those areas now. This test is a great tool to raise self-awareness.  I felt fortunate that I was introduced to the test and I could jump in the learning immediately. It’s an awesome journey. I will continue to use it to develop my clients and myselff. I am also learning how to introduce this test to others so they are willing to take it on and benefit from it.

It’s 6:40am. I was in my pajamas.  I planned to do 10-minute emailing, 10-minute biking, 10-minute walking with the dogs, 20-miniute personal grooming and start a conference call at 7:30.

My 16-yr old suddenly asked  “Mom, could you take me to school?” I replied harshly “no, you didn’t give me enough notice” She said “cool off, I was just asking”. Her reply made me reflect the whole thing.. Yes. She was just making a request, where was my freedom to reject the request with grace?

I realize that I had anxiety over saying NO to my children when I could have accepted their requests.

When I don’t have time to accommodate them, I can say no easily. When I really want to accommodate them and I can do it by stretching myself, I have  hard time to say NO. I often stretch myself  to accommodate or I say NO with anger. Anger was more towards me for not wanting to accommodate. How interesting it came out so negative  towards them when I was upset with myself.

What I want to practice is to say NO gently and lovingly to my children when I choose not to accommodate them.